An unpolished poem

I tap, peck, flip, scribble, nibble

The d D e E e t t T a A a i I L L L l s S S 

rewind, reply, rewind replay, fast forward, pause, rewind, reply

Freedom, peace, and release are what I seek.

The looooonging, hope, desire, lust, sin, needs unfulfilled depress me.

The emptiness, numbness, disengagement, lethargy, disconnection, and apathy bind me

Promises, feelings, love, and joy are what I seek.

In today's spirited battle Team Uncertainty with their MVP players: Fear, Unbelief, Anxiety, Money and Comfortably will take on Team Hopeful with their all star players: Excitement, Newness, Adventure, Risks, and Learning. It should be a good match today folks. 

Trust, dependence, provision and guidance are what I seek.

The trying, repeating, strategizing, restrategizing, frustration, anger, yelling, well up in me and suck the life out of me. I drag myself up, down, forward, right, left. Try harder, find strength, find energy, push just a little longer until I collapse into exhaustion.

Patience, compassion, energy, and to thrive are what I seek.

I am a creature of many needs, many flaw, many mistakes, many sins. Thank GOD you are a God of limitless mercy, love, forgiveness. Stick in there with me, I'm worth it, or so you tell me.

Cracked Pot

I came across this story in a Jesuit devotional and I thought it was really beautiful.

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master’s house, it had leaked much of its water and was only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. ‘I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.’ ‘Why?’ asked the bearer. ‘What are you ashamed of?’ ‘I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,’ the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, ‘As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.’ Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, ‘Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house. (Author Unknown)

—The Jesuit Prayer Team

Standing on the Promises of God in 2014

The above image is by my friend Juliano that I feel like captures how I have been feeling recently.

Our bible study was talking about what promises God makes to us that we can hold onto in this new year. I thought I would write down some that came up for me. I hope to be able to hold onto these promises throughout the year.

"I will never leave you or forsake you." -Joshua 1:5

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

"See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:19

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine." -Isaiah 43:1

"Because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness" -Lamentations 3:22-23

"...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves." Colossians 1:11-13

From the song Standing on the Promises:
Standing on the promises that cannot fail
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail
By the living Word of God I shall prevail
Standing on the promises of God.