Sin and Brokenness Starts Early

This last week at work has been particularly difficult with my students. A lot has happened that feels particularly burdensome to me. Obviously I can’t go into details on this blog, but I have seen a lot of disturbing behaviors in my students and fear what may be happening to them at home. I have been able to see how easily sin can be perpetuated. My students are K-5 and already I see the effects of sin and brokenness in their lives. I see how the sins of their parents have an enormous effect on them. The absence of a father, divorce, anger, abuse, and lack of discipline comes out in their behavior daily. I have seen how I even perpetuate cycles of sin in my impatience and anger toward them. As I communicate to them frustration in my tone which leads to anger and yelling, they model that behavior back to me and to their peers. Although I am praying and working through the sin that is in me, I fail in some way with them every day and worry about how my actions are hurting them. I see how their sin toward each other escalates and gets caught in these destructive cycles. Name calling, hitting, fighting, stealing, lying are issues that come up daily.

It saddens me how Satan can already have such a strong hold on these kids who are only 8 years old. They are already caught into the web of sin and lies at such an early age. It seems so unfair. Why Lord are these kids already so young to be so broken sin? Because I have been through counseling, I can see how these issues will affect them throughout their whole life. They are developing defense mechanism and shutting down emotionally, issues that will come up as they are adults.

It feels burdensome to me this week as I have felt powerless to stop it. Not only do I feel like I can not stop the cycles of sin, but I am contributing to it. I am not trying to say that I am a complete failure and I am horrible to them. I do care for them and there are times when I am patient and really affirming, but every day I sin and fail them in some way. The situation just seems really hopeless. I weep as I think about all of this.

I know that the Lord has a plan of redemption and healing for these kids but it’s hard to see in the midst of so much destructiveness. But my sister reminded me that praying for them is the best thing I can do for them. I may be the only one that is praying for them. Lord I just pray that you would break Satan’s grip on these kids. Protect them from lasting scars of pain and hurt. Bring into the light any evilness and put a stop to it. These are your children.