Dream Jobs- The realists vs. the dreamers

Warning: These are my unfiltered thoughts. Its kind of just the jumble of thoughts running through my head every now and then as I consider next steps for jobs or grad schools.

I just want to teach theatre. I want to find something where I don't dread going to work. There is really no reason why I should dread going to work. I love my kids. I hate the schedule. I need to make money. I hate feeling trapped by money but it is a reality of our lives. My grandma always tells me, "If you do what you love, you will always make enough money." But that's not true.

Does everyone get to do what they love? No, in fact looking at the world: children collecting garbage, women selling their bodies, people working in sweat shops. That's not their dream job. That's not the way God uniquely gifted them. They do it to eat and feed their family. And its not because the don't apply themselves or takes risks, but it because we live in a fallen world. There is poverty, injustice, inequality, and most people are just born into that. And no matter how hard you try, not EVERYONE can rise above it.

So why should I get to do what I love where others have to beg on the street to stay alive? Why do I get to be one the privileged few who actually get to do a job that I am passionate about? I struggle with this question when thinking about a "career." Most people don't even get to pursue a "career," they just have a job. I feel like its a white privilege thing to be entitled to a career or even a career that you are passionate about. I grew up seeing my parents get to do what they love. That's why I went to college, to be able to pursue my dreams. But do I only get to pursue them because my family had money? And now that I have less money, do my dreams of being a full time theatre teacher stop here? Do they stop because of the economy? My lack of effort or talent? My fears? My lack of perseverance?

Or do I continue on with hope that God will bless me in the "desires of my heart?" But what about the talents and gifts God has given me? Does he want me to use them in a career? But surely he has also given the sweatshop worker unique talents that go beyond sewing shirts? Why does God not bless them in their talents to succeed? Do I not have enough faith that God can really bless me in this way? Does my practical thinking come from the world's fear of not having financial security?

I have no answers to these questions at this time.